


Healing Words

by lucythewizbard



Series: Aroace Michael [2]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual Michael Mell, Disabled Jake Dillinger, Fluff, Gen, Light Angst, Platonic Relationships, Post-Canon, Post-Squip Jeremy Heere, Post-Squip Rich Goranski
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:26:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28266843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucythewizbard/pseuds/lucythewizbard
Summary: Rich tried his best to shrug. “It’s fine-”“Not really!” Jake snapped. “Visiting is, like, the one thing you’re supposed to do for someone in the hospital!”And - well, it was silly. Childish, even. But the words “supposed to” hit Rich all the wrong way. “Did you… not want to come?”In which everyone agrees that you shouldn't have heavy conversations in the hospital, and several heavy conversations are had in the hospital.
Relationships: Jake Dillinger & Rich Goranski, Jeremy Heere & Michael Mell
Series: Aroace Michael [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2055624
Kudos: 14





	Healing Words

**Author's Note:**

> Although it isn't mentioned explicitly in this fic, this is a continuation of my Aroace!Michael fic and the interactions are meant to read as platonic. Have fun!

Michael sighed as he walked into the hospital room. With school closed on a mysterious week-early Thanksgiving break, hospital visits had quickly become part of his daily routine. For the first few days, at least, he had plenty of stops to make; nearly the entire cast of the play had been hospitalized. It had been odd, checking in on unconscious classmates he barely knew, but it seemed like the right thing to do. Besides, even the dreary walls of the hospital were more comforting than the gossip and speculation that tore through social media.

But time went on, people recovered, and things changed. Chloe and Brooke were the first to bounce back, checking out of the hospital by the end of day one. Jenna and Christine were next - he actually ended up staying to chat with Christine for a while, since she had questions about what had happened, but he didn’t see her after that. Even Jake was out of the hospital by the third day, albeit in a wheelchair. Now, on his fourth visit, there was only one stop: the quiet, gloomy ICU.

There were no more rooms to visit, no more new witness accounts, nothing else to keep him busy. With a dejected sigh, he leaned against the small hospital bed where his best friend lay unconscious.

“He’s going to be alright.”

Aaaand Michael nearly fell out of his chair. This room was supposed to be _empty_! He looked around frantically for the source of the noise. There - one bed over, a pile of blankets that hinted at a human form. The curtain had been drawn over this section during his previous visits. And in the bed, with casts on several limbs, was…

“Rich?”

“What, surprised to see me?”

“They didn’t tell me you were in here. I don’t think they told anybody. Something about patient privacy and… fears of harassment.”

“Oh.” The room went quiet.

“So,” Michael ventured, “what were you saying before?”

“Jeremy’s going to be fine. Something happened to my SQUIP - there was this weird noise and then _boom_ , no more computer! And if I can recover from that, _he_ definitely can.” Rich nodded toward the neighboring bed, then paused in realization. “Did you… know? That he had one?”

“He told me about it. At the start.” Michael thought about it. “Did you tell anyone about yours?”

“When I got it, I didn’t have anyone to tell. After that… it was like this big secret. Like I couldn’t let anybody know that I had to cheat to be cool. Jake never had one, you know. He was always just _like that_.”

Michael nodded. He knew a thing or two about being alone. The difference was that he had responded by pushing the world further away, while Rich had done exactly the opposite. And in retrospect, neither of those options really seemed like the right choice. “...Sorry.”

“Sorry? I’m finally free of that shiny, happy hive mind.” He grinned. “From now on, the ladies are going to get to love the _real_ Richard Goranski.” A strange expression crossed his face. “...and the dudes. Oh my god, I’m totally _bi!_ ”

_Yep_ , Michael thought, _another freakin’ day at the hospital._

\---

The moment of vulnerability passed quickly. Michael left soon after, and then Rich was alone, contemplating his new discovery.

The first thing that came to mind was _hide it_. _Don’t tell anyone_. _They’re going to make fun of you_. He thought about it, thought about the people who yelled at gay kids in the hallways. That was _him._ _Sh*t_.

Why did he do that, anyway? It had started as a way to get a quick chuckle out of Chloe, Brooke, or whoever else was watching. But there was something else. Seeing people walk around with their little rainbow pins, or giggle and hold hands in the hallway, had tied knots in his stomach. The SQUIP told him it was hatred. But now, with perfect clarity, he understood: he had _envied_ them. Which kind of made this whole thing worse. What was he supposed to do, find them and apologize? Blame it on the SQUIP? Or just pretend it never happened?

He sank back in the hospital bed. This was giving him a headache. Was this how everybody figured it out? Just… one big realization that hit you like a truck and left you wondering what to do with all the broken pieces? Would he ever even have a _chance_ to ask someone else how they figured it out, or- nope, the headache was back. With a defeated sigh, he drifted into another restless sleep.

\---

“Rich?”

He blinked awake. There was another visitor in the room. “Jake... you came to visit."

His friend nodded. “Sorry I wasn’t here sooner. There was a lot going on, and I wasn’t sure if… ugh, that’s stupid. I don’t have an excuse.”

Rich tried his best to shrug. “It’s fine-”

“Not really!” Jake snapped. “Visiting is, like, the _one_ thing you’re supposed to do for someone in the hospital!”

And - well, it was silly. Childish, even. But the words “supposed to” hit Rich all the wrong way. “Did you… not want to come?”

“No, I- I mean-” He sighed. “I didn’t want to come back to the hospital. And I wasn’t exactly psyched to see my best friend all-” a gesture at the hospital bed - “hurt. But I was worried about you. Really.”

_Best friend_. But also _didn’t want to come_. But in a reasonable way, kind of. That was a lot to process, so Rich just said, “Thanks.”

The conversation moved to lighter topics after that, although it still contained more medical updates than Rich would have liked. (Jake’s legs, as it turned out, had mysteriously worsened in the days after the fire, and he was confined to a wheelchair for the time being.) In the breaks in conversation, the little moments of silence, Rich scrambled to figure out which parts of the story could be told - and which needed to stay secret.

The SQUIP, of course, he had no intention of revealing. Trying to explain it could end one of two ways: with Jake thinking he was insane, or with Jake seeing how stupid he’d been. Rich wasn’t sure which was worse. But he had two solid plans for avoiding those outcomes: blame it on drinks, or blame it on drugs. And that ought to cover just about-

“Uh, if you don’t mind me asking… since when do you have a lisp?”

“I-” Rich could feel his face going red. The _lisp_ was embarrassing enough on its own, not to mention the reason it had suddenly appeared. Reappeared, actually, but nobody _knew_ that. “Uh- um-”

“Dude, it’s fine. You don’t have to talk about it.”

Rich nodded helplessly. _F*ck. Why is he such… such a good person? Good at everything, all the time. I needed a SQUIP to be half as good as he is, and even then I was- I was the idiot who burned a house down, and he broke his legs helping me. All my fault._ “I’m s- sorry about your house,” he blurted. His face was getting even redder, and tears pricked at his eyes. “I didn’t mean to-'' The rest of the words caught in his throat.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright.” Jake spoke calmly, but there was worry in his eyes. “We can worry about that stuff once you’re out of the hospital. Besides, I’m staying with my aunt now. I’m fine.”

It took Rich several minutes to get himself together. He didn’t bother trying to explain himself any further.

Mercifully, Jake didn’t seem to mind. 

\---

Michael wasn’t actually there when Jeremy woke up. He missed it by about ten minutes, as one of the nurses helpfully informed him at the front desk. (He hadn’t even asked - apparently, he was enough of a regular that the staff just knew where he was going.) He practically sprinted up to the ICU after hearing the news, pushed through the door, and for the first time, it opened to reveal Jeremy sitting up in bed. Conscious. Alive. _Okay_.

“Michael!”

He rushed over to the bed, pulling the curtain over Rich in the process. They didn’t need interruptions right now. “You’re okay!”

“What happened? All I remember is that noise, and…”

He found himself surprisingly excited to answer the question. Without the constant worry hanging over him, the extent of the SQUIP’s power was actually kind of cool. Freaky, but cool.

“Oh man, it was genius! They were communicating with each other - they were linked!” _Wow_ , he had missed info-dumping like this. “Which means… when you consider the kind of high-frequency sonic disturbance to wipe a system that powerful-”

“Michael.” Jeremy smiled weakly. “My head still hurts.”

That was understandable. “Right, ah... turns out you don’t have to destroy every SQUIP. Just one. And the rest-“ he gestured explosions for emphasis. “Boom boom boom.”

There was a pause. Then,

“I don’t get it. After everything I did, you were still there for me. Why?”

Michael sighed. A lot had gone through his head after the party, but the answer was actually pretty simple. “Because I care about you. Dumbass. Speaking of which, you gotta promise never to pull something like that again.”

“I promise,” Jeremy said solemnly. “Seriously, that was the worst two weeks of my life. And not just because of the hospital visit.”

Michael glanced around the small room. “Are they letting you out soon?”

“I dunno, probably? I just woke up, but I feel okay. Mentally okay. My body still hurts all over. But I’m not sure they keep you in the hospital for that.”

“Doubt it. You can be in all the same pain in your own bed, at home, instead of taking up their space.”

The room fell quiet for a second. Jeremy was the first to speak.

“So, uh,” he faltered, “I guess… we need to talk? So much happened, and I need to give you a real apology, and- and-” He swayed dizzily and laid back down.

Michael put out a hand. “We do need to talk. But not right now, okay? Save it for when you’re out of the hospital, at least.”

“Mmm,” Jeremy hummed. “When they let me out, can I come over for video games?”

“Yeah! They just dropped that new DLC for Apocalypse of the Damned, I could-”

“Actually…” He looked up hopefully. “I was thinking we could play some SwordQuest?”

\---

Rich had been polite enough not to disrupt the moment, even though he could _totally_ hear them through the curtain. He sat there quietly, feeling smugly satisfied for the good behavior. He was fully lucid today - a nice change from passing out every few hours.

Eventually Michael left again, Jeremy started making a racket trying to get out of his bed, and Rich decided he could be a little nosy, as a treat. “Feels like you’re missing a part of yourself, doesn’t it?”

“…Rich?” Jeremy asked with audible confusion. “Dude, what _happened_? I’m pretty sure half the school thought you were dead. _And_ somebody started a rumor that you were gay.”

Rich's mouth moved faster than his brain. “I mean, they’re not totally wrong...” He trailed off, realizing what he’d said, but it was too late.

“Wait, you’re-” Jeremy sputtered- “you’re actually-”

“Bi, yeah.”

“After _all that_? After all those times you called me or Michael or someone else gay, after the rainbows on my locker, _after the backpack incident?_ After all that, _you’re_ the not-straight one here?”

He shrunk back as much as he could in the small hospital bed. “I didn’t know back then. I only figured it out, like, yesterday. Not that it excuses what I did, I just… I’m sorry.”

“Wow.” Jeremy pinched the bridge of his nose. “You’re a _totally_ different person without your SQUIP. This is going to take some getting used to.” He paused. “For what it’s worth, though… I’m not gonna judge you for who you are.”

Rich hadn’t realized how much he needed to hear that. “Thanks, dude. That means a lot.”

\---

Rain dripped on the hospital windows. Rich was alone in the ICU now - Jeremy had checked out hours ago. Even though the two had only shared a single conversation here, his absence made the room feel so much emptier - and it meant Michael wasn’t coming back either. But, Rich supposed, he probably deserved this. What had he done to earn a friend like that, one who would make hospital visits to check on him, one who would trust him with their greatest secrets, one who could _forgive_ him for- for all that? Nothing. Michael went through hell to help Jeremy; Rich, apparently, just went through hell for fun.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door opening, and Jake wheeled in, soaked from the downpour outside.

“Hey. Are you feeling any better today?”

He didn’t have anything to say to that. He was too busy staring at Jake’s sopping wet clothes, too busy thinking about the wheelchair and remembering that the ICU recovery room was on the _third floor_ and realizing just how much Jake had done _for him_. Just like friends were supposed to.

_But_ , he thought, _it’s not that easy_. Michael had visited Jeremy in the hospital… and Jeremy had trusted him, told him the whole story about the SQUIP. Which provided an obnoxiously obvious blueprint for what he should _probably_ be doing right now.

_No. No way. Hide it_ , the familiar voice echoed, _don’t tell anyone_. What if Jake didn’t want to be his friend without the SQUIP? He shook the thought away. After everything they’d been through, he deserved to know the truth. Because that’s what friends did for each other.

“I need to tell you something.” The words came out easier than he expected.

Jake leaned back uneasily. “Sure, what’s up?”

_Wait, sh*t, where do I even start?_ “So… you know how I have a lisp now?”

A nod.

“Well, it’s not actually new. I’ve had it since middle school, but in sophomore year, I got something that made it go away. Did a bunch of other stuff, too. It was this, uh, computer… pill?”

“Wait-” Jake stared at him, eyes wide. “You had a SQUIP?”

“ _What?_ ” Rich shrieked. “You _knew_? You knew about the SQUIPs? I was hiding all this sh*t for _nothing_?”

“I- I didn’t think you knew! I got mine when everyone else did-”

“ _Everyone else!?_ ”

“-when we drank the weird juice at the play! But it only lasted like five minutes before they all, like, exploded.” He paused. “You seriously had one for two whole years?”

“Yeah, I-” He found himself laughing, overwhelmed with relief. “Wow, I am _so_ glad I didn’t have to explain SQUIPs to you.”

“Dude, seriously! I can’t believe we almost just… both didn’t know.” A sad look flashed across his face. “If you hadn’t said something… I was planning on keeping it a secret. I felt kind of stupid, you know, since I fell for it so easily. That was really, uh, brave of you. To tell me.”

Once again, Rich could feel his face flushing red. “Aw, I was just trying to be a good friend like you,” he muttered. And, yes, somewhere in the back of his mind, there was a voice telling him to _stop being so mushy_ , _people will think you’re weak_ \- but as he sat there laughing like an idiot with his _best friend_ , it didn’t seem so important after all.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was originally going to have a lot more angst, but I decided I liked it better this way.  
> Oh, and if you were wondering about the SwordQuest bit, check out the first fic in this series!


End file.
